The Cleveland sports version of the night before Christmas

DirtyDeeds · #1 (**permalink**) 12-23-2010

I thought this was awesome,not sure if I posted in the right place tho...Enjoy!
By Bob Frantz

The day before the Eve of Christmas is here,

And fans far and wide are all of good cheer.

In the North, to the South, to the East and the West,

Great teams can stake claims to being the best.

But in one land the fans are not eager to boast,

For these are the fans of the forlorn North Coast.

And as Santa prepares for his busiest day,

The fans ask St. Nick for some teams that can play.

Their stockings are hung by the chimney with care,

But year after year, they're always left bare.
What's happened to us? How'd we get to this place?

Where opponents march in and kick sand in our face?

The Browns, and the Cavs, and also the Tribe

Have performed much too poorly for words to describe.

Remember that team, just one win from The Show?

That pitching-deep team from three years ago?

We had CC and Fausto and Cliffy and Jake,

And Victor and Franklin and ol' Casey Blake�

We beat up the Yanks and were leading the Sox,

A sure bet to trample those Colorado Rocks�
But we blew it, and then all the progress we'd made

Was undone by too many mind-numbing trades.

Now CC's a Yankee and Cliff is in Philly,

And the guys left behind have looked rather silly.

Can Santa bring something to get them in sync?

Not with the Dolans swimming deep in red ink.

At Quicken, the team that once filled us with pride

Is still in the midst of a terrible slide.

They once were our best bet for championship glory,

But then were betrayed � well you know the story.
In back-to-back seasons, the standings we ruled,

But our Cowardly King had everyone fooled.

His very best effort, he told us he made,

Before he went south, to become Mrs. Wade.

And left in his wake are the rest of the Cavs,

A group of Have-Nots in a league full of Haves.

Sure Andy plays hard, and Antawn can score,

And when Mo's on his game, he's all over the floor �

And if Boobie gets hot, his jumper is sick �

But Santa is bringing � a lottery pick.

And down by the lake, In Mangenius We Trusted,

But 14 games in, our big season is busted.

Excited, we were, after beating the Saints,

And when crushing New England, there were no complaints.

The offense had Cleveland fans jumping for joy,

Their future had arrived, this kid named McCoy.

And Hillis, they saw, was a bone-crushing beast,

Just looking for linebackers on whom he could feast.

He'd smash them and leap them, and tacklers would fall,

Which was great as long as he remembered the ball.

The progress was clear after back-to-back wins,

And Mangini was happy, though the margins were thin.

But then came the Bengals, and before them the Bills,

And back-to-back losses erased any thrills.

Now Holmgren is busy deciding the fate

Of Head Coach Mangini, and fans are irate.

For three years running there's been no winning seasons,

But most do not think that Mangini's the reason.

To keep him or dump him, that is the question

We now leave to President Holmgren's discretion.

So onward we muddle, in the land of no rings,

Trying, as always, to make sense of things.

We find coaches and managers and players to blame,

But in the end, the result is too often the same.

So in this time before Christmas, let's all begin �

To ask Dear Old Santa � for some teams that can win.
Bob Frantz: Spreading Christmas cheer in a land that needs a champ so dear - news-herald.com