Kevin Mack League - Week 4 Recap | Barking Hard

Kevin Mack League - Week 4 Recap

hiwaygal

QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
Awards
9
BOOBIES!!! (figured that would get your attention)

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this week’s recap is in PINK. Just like the NFL!

And we’re gonna talk about b(.)(.)bs. Lots and lots of b(.)(.)bs and airbags, and bijongas, and honkers, and tatas…

In the battle of the undefeated; RAC ‘n ROLLS rolled into the house of Chainsaw Massaquoi to see who would come out with the ONLY remaining perfect record. Aaron Rodgers got to “second base” with 114.92 points, Colt McCoy and Julio Jones added their own version of knockers to help RAC ‘n ROLLS support their rack. Chainsaw Massaquoi got some good melons from Arian Foster, Wes Welker, and Josh Freeman. But Chainsaw Massaquois melons couldn’t hold up against the bazoombas of RAC ‘n ROLLS! (insiders suggest underwire, Chainsaw)

FINAL SCORE: RAC ‘n ROLLS 401.66 Chainsaw Massaquoi 367.37

Floridabrownsbacker got his bosoms in a knot and took his first win of the season from Jax Pumpkin Heads and their hood ornaments. Cam Newton, Beanie Wells, and LeGarrette Blount led the charge of the bra brigade for Floridabrownsbacker; Philip Rivers, Brandon Lloyd, and the New York Jets defense just couldn’t hold on to those honkers for Jax Pumpkin Heads. From this commentators perspective, maybe Jax was too interested in his own pumpkins!

FINAL SCORE: Floridabrownsbacker 355.10 Jax Pumpkin Heads 291.68

Hallelujah!! The Believeland Browns were shakin’ their coconuts as they handed the EVIL Dawg Pound their first loss of the season. It was the age old battle of good versus EVIL! Hakeem Nicks, the Baltimore defense and Ryan Matthews lifted up God’s milk bottles for the win. Eli Manning, Chris Johnson, and Jared Cook flashed their devil’s dumplings for the EVIL Dawg Pound fans, but they only had enough to fill a training bra.

FINAL SCORE: Believeland Browns 358.46 EVIL Dawg Pound 287.43

JJ’s Palookas got their second win waving their flapdoodles all in the face of BernietheKid. And boy was his face red! Michael Vick, Greg Jennings, and Steven Jackson had the biggest jahoobies for JJ’s Palookas. Steve Smith, Kyle Orton, and the New York Giants defense tried to pump up their little bee-stings, but they were out boobed.

FINAL SCORE: JJs Palookas 284.38 BernietheKid 276.94

Waiting for Noodles now understands that “more than a mouthful is a waste” as I Heart Freckles showed little tweeters can do great things! Drew Brees, Tony Romo, and Paul Posluszny helped I Heart Freckles develop. DeSean Jackson, Jordy Nelson, and Vincent Jackson shook their milkmakers for Waiting for Noodles…but he was still….waiting for noodles.shrug

FINAL SCORE: I Heart Freckles 294.86 Waiting for Noodles 288.25

Last, but not least, Whipped Cream and Cribbs and Bloods began their game with the mammary smack talk. Cribbs and Bloods came lookin’ for hooters with Matt Forte, Jimmy Graham, and Calvin Johnson. Unfortunately Whipped Cream didn’t impress even with Dwayne Bowe, Matt Ryan, and Matt Cassel as their biggest chesticles. It was a tough loss bringing Whipped Cream down as the only winless team. Next week they need to go for the high beams!

FINAL SCORE: Cribbs and Bloods 379.62 Whipped Cream 288.06
 
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RANKTEAMW-L-TPCTDIVPTS FORPTS AGAINSTSTREAK
DIVISION 1
1RAC 'n ROLLS4-0-01.0003-0-01578.161212.48W-4
4EVIL Dawg Pound3-1-0.7503-0-01398.211219.47L-1
5I Heart Freckles3-1-0.7502-1-01395.131166.36W-2
9BernietheKid1-3-0.2501-2-01160.881354.00L-2
10Floridabrownsbacker1-3-0.2500-3-01146.581436.07W-1
12Whipped Cream0-4-0.0000-3-01059.401415.69L-4
DIVISION 2
2Chainsaw Massaquoi3-1-0.7503-0-01560.211414.40L-1
3Cribbs and Bloods3-1-0.7502-1-01431.341327.06W-2
6Believelad Browns2-2-0.5001-2-01264.241273.35W-1
7JJ's Palookas2-2-0.5001-2-01121.701118.06W-1
8Waiting for Noodles1-3-0.2501-2-01169.061145.88L-2
11Jax Pumpkin Heads1-3-0.2501-2-01140.881342.97L-1
 
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Ha! Pink was a perfect color for this week awareness games. Nice job. And I do like the reference to the B(.)(.)BIES!!!
 
BOOOOOOOBAYYYYYYSSSSS!!!!!

That excites me more than RAC n ROLLS at a smorgasbord.
 
And we’re gonna talk about b(.)(.)bs. Lots and lots of b(.)(.)bs and airbags, and bijongas, and honkers, and tatas…

We should just make our FF season dedicated to Breast Awareness. Like I said in our game - nothing ups the fun factor like bouncing boobies.
 
LOL!!!

Well, I don't quite share the enthusiasm, but the hardest part is coming up with alternative names!! I literally googled "slang for boobies" and found a list. And there were LOTS on that list I'd never heard before!
 
Next year's fantasy league: Boobies Awareness Fantasy Football League.

The bye week was not kind to me, onward and upward.
 
LOL!!!

Well, I don't quite share the enthusiasm, but the hardest part is coming up with alternative names!! I literally googled "slang for boobies" and found a list. And there were LOTS on that list I'd never heard before!

Isn't there a college somewhere called Sagg-a-more State?
 
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